Thursday, December 10, 2009

Crappy Crappy Crap

Hey all,

I don't even know how to start this post so I am just going to go right into it.
I was talking to my God-Daughter Cloie's mom on Tues about taking her for the weekend we were talking about things and she blurts out I didn't tell Aunt Chris Yet but.....
I was like Are you Pregnant?????!?!?!?!?! UMMM yea like 3 months.
WTF you CAN NOT even handle the 2 children you have now and your adding a 3rd.
Then so goes on to say that her gas is shut off and it will hopefully be turned back on this week.
It is freaking freezing here. She said well I have space heaters so it is not bad.
Then we are talking about Christmas and she is like I am going to get the kids Timberland Boots. In my head I was like why not PAY YOUR FREAKING BILLS and buy them Payless boots.
Not to mention their house is going up for Sheriff sale in Jan. HOW ABOUT YOU FIND A PLACE TO FREAKING LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!
I just don't understand it! I want a baby so bad but is waiting until a little longer until I am financially stable. I have a job so does Eric we have 2 cars, a nice place to live, we have GAS (heat) but we are not popping out a kid yet. NOT THEM!!!!

Not to mention I am terrified that we will not be able to have kids or have problems it scares me so much that I push it out of my head. I was in a relationship for 9 yrs and the last 2 did not use anything and NO baby. I am with Eric going on 3 yrs and have not used anything in the last 2 and no baby. DO I write it off as God has a plan for me to have a baby when he thinks I should? Do I bring it up to my doctor? Eric was with a girl for 3 yrs who had a baby with 3 guys and never got pregnant with him. Are we both infertile? God just typing that word makes my heart sink:( I have never said that word out loud. I actually have a yrs check up this month maybe I will bring it up to him even though we are not "officially trying" yet I am getting older.
Oh well I am off to have dinner with my Best Friend Jenn, she always makes me feel better.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

No so Wordless Wednesday

As You know we moved 2 weeks ago into a apartment complex, we love everything about it!!!

EXCEPT!!!!! we hear EVERY single step the people above us make. I am not kidding we can tell you exactly where they are in there apartment at anytime. Eric went to the leasing manager on Tues we never heard anything, so on Sat we both went and the lady told us she was waiting on the property manager to call back. On Monday the property manager called back and told us she was waiting on the people upstairs to return her call so she can ask for permission to go into the property. Finally around 3 they came to our building and one person went upstairs and the property manager stayed with Eric in our apt to hear what we were talking about. They said there is something wrong with the flooring and/or the piping in the ceiling. She told us she will have to talk to the building owner and that she believes our options are the have the ceiling ripped down in the BEDROOM ONLY and have them fix the problem or transfer us to different building. ahhhhhhh seriously!!!!!! WE hear the noise EVERYWHERE why just fix the bedroom??? Move again??? we just painted the living room and dining room now we will have to paint it all back to white then buy more paint to paint the new place. RE pack everthing, buy more boxes, go to the post office and RE do a change of address and call all the utilities and have them transferred AGAIN porob have to pay for REinstallation of cable again. Plus all the aggravation!!!!WTF!!!!! I think we should be compensated in some way for this.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

It's been a while!

Since I last posted so much has been going on in my life.

The new job is going great, VERY busy but I really enjoy it.
We moved out of Eric's house due to the fact it was old and needed so much work and I did not want to spend the money to fix it. We would have had to completely gut it get it where we would like it to be. So we moved into a 2 bedroom apartment, it is completely updated all brand new appliances, new carpet and new ceramic tiles in the bathroom & kitchen. We painted the living room and dining room and bought new furniture and it is starting to feel like "home".
The best part is that we did all this with out ONE fight!!!!! we have been getting along so well, he is actually excited to work on the house and do things!! When we were in the house, he never wanted to do anything to it because it used to be his grandparent's house and he felt guilty changing anything, so it has been the same since his grand mom passed 9 years ago. But now it is a new fresh start!!! Time to look to the future, he even mentioned the B word yes babies!!!! woo hoo life is looking good.

Friday, August 21, 2009

At Work

This week and Next week we are doing professional Developement at work can you say BORING!!!! I want to rip my eyes out!! Well today we had to have a phone /virtual traning, the lady who right now as we speak is in some state down south, and My one co worker and I are in a board room listening to her and following her along on our computers. She is so nice, but how exciting and interesting can you make it. I will be stuck in this room until 4 PM and then 2 days next week. ahhhhhhh

The only thing getting me though today is that I am picking up my God-Daughter Cloie when I get out of here today!!!!!! yeaaaa Can NOT wait. Build a bear & Chuckie Cheese here we come.
I also would love to see UP I hope it is still playing, has anyone seen it? Comments???
Ok well let me get back to this training, hope I did not miss aything too important.
Hope you are all Well!!

(((Hugs))) and Baby Dust to everyone ( well those that want it) dont want to send it to all you brand new mommies! Expecially those who just had their little love bugs!

Friday, July 31, 2009

loooong week

This has be the longest week ever. A Friend of ours commited sucide on sunday over a broken heart his mom found him. grrrrr so mad and so sad a full of emotions and questions. WHY!!!!
Greg was the type of guy that NEVER showed his emotions you never could tell if he was having a bad day because he would hide it. This is not the first friend or even the 2 or 3rd friend we lost to do this but it is one that you would neve suppect EVER!!!!! just want this weekend to be over.
God Greg GRRRRRRRRRR Love you

Monday, July 13, 2009

Please pray.

Wow I just heard one of the worst stories!!
The lady I spoke about in my 5/12 post "OK seriously" cause she got pregnant 4 times after having her tubes tied!! Well she was due to give birth to her daughter the end of June, well she went to the doctor her said everything was looking good and that if she didn't have the baby by her next appointment, they would schedule her to be induced. Well a week later she went into labor on her own. Everything still seemed fine baby had a heart beat and everything. Well the worse thing you can imagine happened the baby passed away during child birth. They determined that there was a knot in the umbilical cord and it caused her to go with out oxygen and she passed away. I just can not understand this SERIOUSLY!!!!! what the hell??? why Didn't they notice the babies little heart rate decelerate and why the hell didn't they perform a c-section. This make me so mad, sad, pissed. Mom is doing well and depending on God to get her through this time. Please pray for this mom and her family!!!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009


After reading a post by a fellow blogger I just had to write!!!
I first have to say I personally did not lose a child, but many close to me have.
My aunt who follwed the doctors orders to a T, lost her baby to spnial bifida at 10 days old. My Sister in law Lost her baby to a heart defect 2 weeks old. My neighbor lost twin boys born too early at 24 weeks.
Then you have the white trash girl in my neighboehood who has 7 yes SEVEN children by many different fathers, all who are healthy even though mom spent most of her time in the bar. She is on welfare and has thse porr children spending THEIR summer infront of the bar where moms b/f works. GRRRR
Then there is this girl who should know better, married, works seems like she is well educated but she acted like a complete ASS during her pregnancies even posting pics of her hold beers while pregnant, she got drunk many times & low adn behold ALL CHILDREN 3 born healthy and at term.

I am not sure where I am goign with this post , I just had to vent .
My heart is breaking for all you women who lost your sweet angle babies.
I send you (((hugs))) and prayers!!!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Birth control

When I think about all the money I spent on B/C since I was 19, I get so pissed off.
Seriously 9 yrs at $40-$60 bucks a month really adds up. GRRRRR
Now I have not been on the pill for 3 years And did not get pregnant anyway so was the pill really just a big waste of money? ( I have not been TRYING to get pregnant for 3 years, just wanted to be done with the damn pill and if it happened it happened)
Now that I have a new job with good & FREE beneifts maybe just maybe I will be able to really start thinking about the whole baby thing!!!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Love at first sight!!!!

The twins have arrived!!!! No not me, my best friend Jenn ( chica to me) .
Luke and Nolan arrived on June 22nd at 36 weeks, 2 weeks before their scheduled C-section.
Nolan came at 11:38 tipping the scale at 5lbs 12 oz and was 18.7 " and Luke followed one minute later weighing 5lbs 1oz and was 18" and the are BOTH BLONDE!!!! I thought for sure at least one would have dark hair like daddy, nope both are blonde like mommy. Luke had to go to the NICU to get some help with his breathing but is doing great otherwise, he is even eating better then his tubby brother( love you Nolan).
I got to hold Nolan for hours yesterday and even change a poopy diaper. I got to see Luke through the glass at the NICU. I can not wait to get my hands on him, and smother him with kisses. Mommy is doing great, even though I am one up on her in the diaper changing. lol
She looks amazing, she does not look like she just had twins. She looks awesome holding her babies, though they do have to listen to her singing crazy made up songs ( it will be OK boys no mommy is not crazy) . Daddy is a rock star, jumping right in changing and feeding, and taking care of mommy.
I am so happy for them, they are a perfect little family. They are so happy and I wish them nothing but the best. Hopefully by this time next yr it will be me having a baby hey maybe I will have twin girls and we can start planning their weddings. he he
Well Let me get back to work so I can hopefully get out early and go see the babies again.

Friday, June 19, 2009


So last weekend I had the joy of taking my God-daughter Cloie for the weekend! She has a crappy life and a crappy mom and step dad. Her mom is 22 but has the mentality of I would say a 15 yr old , SO I am not knocking young mothers I am just knocker her because her because she is a freaking idiot 2 kids by the time she was 20. She never has a stable place to live her and her B/F break up all the time so she has to move from house to house. She has no job and still never has the time to cook, clean or wash the kids clothes. But anyway I try to get her one or 2 weekends a month . Last weekend when I went to pick her up her mom said I have nothing washed but cloie said you have clothes at your house ( yes I do because the clothes you give me are never the right size. ) For example the outfit she had on when i picked her up consisted of a 18-24 month old DRESS but it was a shirt on her and sweatpants for a 6-9 month old that were shorts on her. GRRRRRRRR I did just spent like 100 bucks on new summer clothes for her for when she comes to my house, and 2 new bathing suits, and new beach toys(love Walmart)

Anyway on sat morning we got up nice and early packed the car and headed down the shore to the beach. We has sooo much fun we went on the beach built sand castles and went into the water, collected shells. we were on the beach for about 4 hours went home took naps then hit the boardwalk and went on the rides. she had so much fun I loved watching her smile it was the best part to me. AS I was tucking her in she said " god mother thank you for taking me on the ride" melted my heart. Sunday we went back to the beach and just had a blast. Sunday night as e heading home I told her she was going back to mommies house and she got upset, then she asked me if I could pick her up after work and take her to get and ice pop ( too cute)

So I am working at a Charter School that is k-4 and I am going to get her in the school for Kindergarten and I am going to talk to her mom about keeping her all week and then taking her home to her one weekend. Just so I can make sure she gets to school everyday and on time.
I will even let her keep her child support because it is not about money to me it is about Cloie and making sure she has the best opportunities in life. I am going to try and post pics of the weekend.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

While I am at it.....

I CAN NOT stand these women that pop out kid after kid then collect welfare, food stamps, free medical try and apply for EVERY free benefit out there, SSI if their child is on med's because their child has "behavior issues" HELL it is called F**king DISCIPLINE try SAYING NO to your child once in a while be a damn parent do your job oh and maybe get a job too.
I have a friend who has 4 kids by 4 baby daddies and she collects EVERY free benefit out there but with the money she gets she goes out and bye a $350.00 cell phone and send her new b/f in jail money EVERY WEEK!!!!!!! grrrrr it just pisses me off that people like this can pop out kids left and right and good people, people who were born to be mommies like us cant or can but have trouble and have to spends thousands of dollars doing it.

*** Note there is nothing wrong with getting help ( welfare, foodstamps) if you need it but many people including my friend abuse it. *****

ok Seriously!!!!

Ok SO I work with this woman who I totally thought was 28 maybe 30 turns out she has 2 children in their 20's and then, had her tubes CUT & TIED!!!! well guess what happend a few yrs after that she got pregnany not once not twice but THREE TIMES with her freeking tubes tied!!!!!!!! HOW THE HELL is this possible!!!!!!!! I walked away from the conversation thinking humm maybe i should gte my tubes tied maybe I will have better luck!!! Maybe everyone that is having problems should do it. ( kidding of course)

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

best friends shower

So this weekend (Sat) was my best friend Jennifer's baby shower. The theme was Under the big top. Can I tell you how cute it was!!! The cake was seriously the cutest thing I ever seen.
I will pic later, but I am sure she will have them on her blog before me.
Can I also say how GREAT everyone was to her and her 2 baby boys, she received almost everything and what she didnt get she will be able to get with the gift cards and when she returns the mutiple gifts,( 4 swings, 3 pack and plays, 3 humidifers just to name a few).
It was so much fun to help her open all these great gifts and then go back to her house and help sort the bags full of clothes, bibs, blankets, and socks.
One thing I was shocked about was the fact that she hardly received any diapers, usually the mother to be gets tons of them and at this shower she only got 2 cases and a few small packs.
I guess it was because people got her the big things instead of diapers since she does need 2 of everything.
It was so much fun, part of me wishes it was me that was having the baby and it was my baby shower, but honestly I am sooo happy for my Bestie, and I know I will be so close to these babies.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

My name is Melissa and I am 30 years old. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and have never been happier. I know that 2 years is not a long time to be thinking about babies but that is all I have on the brain. I have wanted to be a mom my whole life, I even played with my dolls until I was 13 yrs old. At holidays I am often found playing in the floor with all the kids instead of having adult conversations. Why dont I just have a baby you ask? Good question. My b/f and I talk about it all the time and in reality it is just not the right time for a few reasons. 1st -my job the hospital I work at is closing so I will have to go on unemployment while I look for a job, we all know there are no jobs out there. 2nd- no job means no insurance. 3rd- house needs work before we can bring a baby into it. These are just a few of the reasons why we have to wait and I understand it but, It does not mean that I do not ache for a baby EVERYDAY!!!