I don't even know how to start this post so I am just going to go right into it.
I was talking to my God-Daughter Cloie's mom on Tues about taking her for the weekend we were talking about things and she blurts out I didn't tell Aunt Chris Yet but.....
I was like Are you Pregnant?????!?!?!?!?! UMMM yea like 3 months.
WTF you CAN NOT even handle the 2 children you have now and your adding a 3rd.
Then so goes on to say that her gas is shut off and it will hopefully be turned back on this week.
It is freaking freezing here. She said well I have space heaters so it is not bad.
Then we are talking about Christmas and she is like I am going to get the kids Timberland Boots. In my head I was like why not PAY YOUR FREAKING BILLS and buy them Payless boots.
Not to mention their house is going up for Sheriff sale in Jan. HOW ABOUT YOU FIND A PLACE TO FREAKING LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!
I just don't understand it! I want a baby so bad but is waiting until a little longer until I am financially stable. I have a job so does Eric we have 2 cars, a nice place to live, we have GAS (heat) but we are not popping out a kid yet. NOT THEM!!!!
Not to mention I am terrified that we will not be able to have kids or have problems it scares me so much that I push it out of my head. I was in a relationship for 9 yrs and the last 2 did not use anything and NO baby. I am with Eric going on 3 yrs and have not used anything in the last 2 and no baby. DO I write it off as God has a plan for me to have a baby when he thinks I should? Do I bring it up to my doctor? Eric was with a girl for 3 yrs who had a baby with 3 guys and never got pregnant with him. Are we both infertile? God just typing that word makes my heart sink:( I have never said that word out loud. I actually have a yrs check up this month maybe I will bring it up to him even though we are not "officially trying" yet I am getting older.
Oh well I am off to have dinner with my Best Friend Jenn, she always makes me feel better.