loooong week

This has be the longest week ever. A Friend of ours commited sucide on sunday over a broken heart his mom found him. grrrrr so mad and so sad a full of emotions and questions. WHY!!!!
Greg was the type of guy that NEVER showed his emotions you never could tell if he was having a bad day because he would hide it. This is not the first friend or even the 2 or 3rd friend we lost to do this but it is one that you would neve suppect EVER!!!!! just want this weekend to be over.
God Greg GRRRRRRRRRR Love you

Please pray.

Wow I just heard one of the worst stories!!
The lady I spoke about in my 5/12 post "OK seriously" cause she got pregnant 4 times after having her tubes tied!! Well she was due to give birth to her daughter the end of June, well she went to the doctor her said everything was looking good and that if she didn't have the baby by her next appointment, they would schedule her to be induced. Well a week later she went into labor on her own. Everything still seemed fine baby had a heart beat and everything. Well the worse thing you can imagine happened the baby passed away during child birth. They determined that there was a knot in the umbilical cord and it caused her to go with out oxygen and she passed away. I just can not understand this SERIOUSLY!!!!! what the hell??? why Didn't they notice the babies little heart rate decelerate and why the hell didn't they perform a c-section. This make me so mad, sad, pissed. Mom is doing well and depending on God to get her through this time. Please pray for this mom and her family!!!

ramblings

After reading a post by a fellow blogger http://lovelosshope.blogspot.com I just had to write!!!
I first have to say I personally did not lose a child, but many close to me have.
My aunt who follwed the doctors orders to a T, lost her baby to spnial bifida at 10 days old. My Sister in law Lost her baby to a heart defect 2 weeks old. My neighbor lost twin boys born too early at 24 weeks.
Then you have the white trash girl in my neighboehood who has 7 yes SEVEN children by many different fathers, all who are healthy even though mom spent most of her time in the bar. She is on welfare and has thse porr children spending THEIR summer infront of the bar where moms b/f works. GRRRR
Then there is this girl who should know better, married, works seems like she is well educated but she acted like a complete ASS during her pregnancies even posting pics of her hold beers while pregnant, she got drunk many times & low adn behold ALL CHILDREN 3 born healthy and at term.

I am not sure where I am goign with this post , I just had to vent .
My heart is breaking for all you women who lost your sweet angle babies.
I send you (((hugs))) and prayers!!!

Birth control

When I think about all the money I spent on B/C since I was 19, I get so pissed off.
Seriously 9 yrs at $40-$60 bucks a month really adds up. GRRRRR
Now I have not been on the pill for 3 years And did not get pregnant anyway so was the pill really just a big waste of money? ( I have not been TRYING to get pregnant for 3 years, just wanted to be done with the damn pill and if it happened it happened)
Now that I have a new job with good & FREE beneifts maybe just maybe I will be able to really start thinking about the whole baby thing!!!

Love at first sight!!!!

The twins have arrived!!!! No not me, my best friend Jenn ( chica to me) .
Luke and Nolan arrived on June 22nd at 36 weeks, 2 weeks before their scheduled C-section.
Nolan came at 11:38 tipping the scale at 5lbs 12 oz and was 18.7 " and Luke followed one minute later weighing 5lbs 1oz and was 18" and the are BOTH BLONDE!!!! I thought for sure at least one would have dark hair like daddy, nope both are blonde like mommy. Luke had to go to the NICU to get some help with his breathing but is doing great otherwise, he is even eating better then his tubby brother( love you Nolan).
I got to hold Nolan for hours yesterday and even change a poopy diaper. I got to see Luke through the glass at the NICU. I can not wait to get my hands on him, and smother him with kisses. Mommy is doing great, even though I am one up on her in the diaper changing. lol
She looks amazing, she does not look like she just had twins. She looks awesome holding her babies, though they do have to listen to her singing crazy made up songs ( it will be OK boys no mommy is not crazy) . Daddy is a rock star, jumping right in changing and feeding, and taking care of mommy.
I am so happy for them, they are a perfect little family. They are so happy and I wish them nothing but the best. Hopefully by this time next yr it will be me having a baby hey maybe I will have twin girls and we can start planning their weddings. he he
Well Let me get back to work so I can hopefully get out early and go see the babies again.

blah

So last weekend I had the joy of taking my God-daughter Cloie for the weekend! She has a crappy life and a crappy mom and step dad. Her mom is 22 but has the mentality of I would say a 15 yr old , SO I am not knocking young mothers I am just knocker her because her because she is a freaking idiot 2 kids by the time she was 20. She never has a stable place to live her and her B/F break up all the time so she has to move from house to house. She has no job and still never has the time to cook, clean or wash the kids clothes. But anyway I try to get her one or 2 weekends a month . Last weekend when I went to pick her up her mom said I have nothing washed but cloie said you have clothes at your house ( yes I do because the clothes you give me are never the right size. ) For example the outfit she had on when i picked her up consisted of a 18-24 month old DRESS but it was a shirt on her and sweatpants for a 6-9 month old that were shorts on her. GRRRRRRRR I did just spent like 100 bucks on new summer clothes for her for when she comes to my house, and 2 new bathing suits, and new beach toys(love Walmart)

Anyway on sat morning we got up nice and early packed the car and headed down the shore to the beach. We has sooo much fun we went on the beach built sand castles and went into the water, collected shells. we were on the beach for about 4 hours went home took naps then hit the boardwalk and went on the rides. she had so much fun I loved watching her smile it was the best part to me. AS I was tucking her in she said " god mother thank you for taking me on the ride" melted my heart. Sunday we went back to the beach and just had a blast. Sunday night as e heading home I told her she was going back to mommies house and she got upset, then she asked me if I could pick her up after work and take her to get and ice pop ( too cute)

So I am working at a Charter School that is k-4 and I am going to get her in the school for Kindergarten and I am going to talk to her mom about keeping her all week and then taking her home to her one weekend. Just so I can make sure she gets to school everyday and on time.
I will even let her keep her child support because it is not about money to me it is about Cloie and making sure she has the best opportunities in life. I am going to try and post pics of the weekend.

While I am at it.....

I CAN NOT stand these women that pop out kid after kid then collect welfare, food stamps, free medical try and apply for EVERY free benefit out there, SSI if their child is on med's because their child has "behavior issues" HELL it is called F**king DISCIPLINE try SAYING NO to your child once in a while be a damn parent do your job oh and maybe get a job too.
I have a friend who has 4 kids by 4 baby daddies and she collects EVERY free benefit out there but with the money she gets she goes out and bye a $350.00 cell phone and send her new b/f in jail money EVERY WEEK!!!!!!! grrrrr it just pisses me off that people like this can pop out kids left and right and good people, people who were born to be mommies like us cant or can but have trouble and have to spends thousands of dollars doing it.

*** Note there is nothing wrong with getting help ( welfare, foodstamps) if you need it but many people including my friend abuse it. *****